What Size Should Be Promoted?

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"Judge a man by the content of his character rather than the colour of his skin."

~ Martin Luther King Jr

"I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character". These are words from MLK's infamous speech, "I have a dream". The main point Dr. King was making here was that society has a very artificial way of looking at things. To what extent his dream has come to reality, that is debatable. But considering that the leader of 'the free world' is mixed race, I suppose it is only fair to argue that society has made some progress. As we slowly break away from racial divides, a different basis of judgement, amongst many, has emerged. Women are now, more than ever, being judged by the size of their bodies, rather than the content of their characters.

Yesterday this photo was posted by a friend on Facebook(with part of the caption under it) and it was my trigger to writing this post.

I had this to say;

Definition of beauty: "The quality or aggregate of qualities in a person or thing that gives pleasure to the senses or pleasurably exalts the mind or spirit." (Merriam-webster online dictionary) My personal take on beauty is that substance and the mind matters the most because lack of character taints one's beauty. This blog post however, shall look at this definition from it's most superficial point i.e looks.

This definition suggests that beauty is in the eyes of the beholder and that it is simply a matter of preference. In contemporary society where skinny is the ultimate definition of beauty, can we truly say this is our own preference or what has been fed to us as a result of media representations? 

In the 1900's, it was less fashionable to be skinny(Or at least that's what the adverts suggest).

 

Today however, women are constantly reminded they are not skinny enough.

This is a clear illustration that the media and our environment influence our perception significantly. Just as putting on weight was being celebrated in the past, loosing weight is now celebrated. And so we find women in both era's struggling to fit into a certain "size". It is a constant struggle of losing or putting on weight, rather than being fit and staying healthy. Whatever your size, if you can't fit into that set standard presented as the norm, then you need "help".

Today big women are shunned and called names and the slim women glorified. It is fashionable to be skinny and if your waist can't fit into the pants of the women you see on your TV screens on the runways or on the billboards on the highways, then beautiful is not a term to define you. The modelling industry(which is personally not my cup of tea due to it's misrepresentation and distortion of beauty, viewing women as commodities and it's superficiality in nature) claims to represent 'beauty' and sometimes tries to overcome criticisms by having "plus size models". These "plus size" models even get the consideration of gracing magazine pages. But just like most things, this is a double edged sword; It's a "plus size photo-shoot" where the magician always appears to photoshop all the "plus size" away.

If we are trying to change that perception of beauty, the question that should be asked is not what size should be promoted. That is the wrong question because it simply goes back to the same issue of stereotypes, with a certain size being made acceptable and the other unacceptable. As long as we keep talking about sizes, we remain in a struggle of stereotypes. The question therefore should be, WHY CAN'T HEALTH BE PROMOTED? PERIOD!

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED. I do not own the images used in this blog post.

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Stop Bullying & Rise Above It.

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"I would rather be a little nobody, than be an evil somebody."

"You're so fat"

"You're so skinny"

"You're so ugly"

"No one loves you"

"You should just kill yourself"

"You're such a looser"

To some of you, these are words that mean absolutely nothing because they are never addressed to you, to others these are words you regularly declare to others, and to half of the kids out there, these are but few of the words they constantly hear addressed to them. Words that are constantly playing in their heads, leading to eating disorders, mental disorders, anti-social behaviour, depression and suicide, among many more. This is just but one form of bullying; verbal. There are various types of bullying, among them, physical, social and cyber bullying. Physical bullying is rather self-explanatory. Social bullying refers to the kind of bullying where an individual is intentionally left out of activities or by having bad things spread about them making them feel like an outcast and cyber bullying results from the misuse of technology where people take on the social networks, regularly insulting and/or similar to social bullying, spreading hurtful things on a person, once again making them feel like an outcast. 

To any victim of bullying reading this, let me start with an apology for anything, and everything, you have been put through. I really don't know what I can tell you, but that you are beautiful in every single way and ask you to be strong because "this too shall pass". Most importantly, TALK TO SOMEONE... You are never alone in a world of 7 billion people :) I'd like to share two videos with you. The first, a message of hope, and the second, to remind you of just how important you are.

"Please don't give up. The world needs you"... I hope this puts a smile on your face: 

A brave and strong young man recently shared his story with the world. I chose this video for three reasons. Firstly, because he is a guy. Bullying is something we commonly associate with girls, which is right in the sense that the percentage of girls who are victims of bullying has been proven by research to be more than that of boys. But it is important to know that both girls and boys fall victim of bullying and the effects are similar, so young boys should not be forgotten. Secondly, I wanted to depict a situation to show both the short-term and long-term effects and the fact that you can do something to change the lives of those still having problems as a result of bullying as opposed to those who took their lives and that's a situation, unfortunate as it is, you can't change. And finally, to show that behind every smile, there's a story; good or bad. People may seem happy when you see them, they might smile at the apparent 'humorous' malicious statements you make but in reality, behind the smiles, there's more than meets the eye.

If you're a bully watching that, the obvious solution is to stop bullying. Words hurt and there's absolutely no reason anyone should go through any form of physical pain simply because they don't fit into your little definition of "perfect". The truth is, the main reason young people bully is for attention(apart from those who counter bully as a result of what they have been through). But I really won't go on about asking you to stop because change can only come from within and it's really only a choice you can make. Barbara Calorosa once told the CNN, "as severe bullying continues, an element of terror is created. The bullied child is rendered so powerless that she is unlikely to fight back and she will not even tell someone that she needs help. The bully, who can act without fear of retaliation, counts on bystanders to either join in or at least do nothing to stop it." 

So my message is to the bystander. You might not be the bully but as always, silence is complicity so do something to change such situations. You might not be in a position to directly intervene but surely there must be an adult(assuming you're young) you can call. If you're an adult bystander, your response should be quite obvious. It's shocking to note that "1 in 4 teachers see nothing wrong with bullying and will only intervene 4 percent of the time."(Source)

With that said, remember, whether verbal, social, physical or cyber bullying, bullying is simply NOT ok. Period! So take measures to better a wrong if you can or just be your own worst critic instead of forgetting your own flaws to take on others'.

NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED. I do not own the images used in this blog post.

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Silence is complicity!

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"BE THE CHANGE YOU WISH TO SEE IN THE WORD"

~ Mahatma Gandhi

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