A Different Outlook on Life...

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“Life is like a taxi. The meter just keeps a-ticking whether you are getting somewhere or just standing still.”

Lou Erickson

It has been said, “you never know what you have until you lose it, and once you lose it, you can never get it back”. This saying has been overly used with reference to failed relationships and friendships that went downhill, among others. Indeed we human beings have a tendency of taking for granted the people and the things in our lives and it is not until they are gone that we realise their significance. But it is also said that time heals all wounds. Eventually, we make new friends, and build new relationships. In some cases better than what we lost, in others, not so much. Although we do not exactly replace our loses, in the end, we all manage to move on one-way or another.

I believe the only loss that is impossible to get back or compensate in any way is that of life. Both of those we love and our own. When we lose those we love, we have no choice but to eventually accept the loss and be thankful for the life lived, as hard as it may be. When it comes to our own life, when the end comes, we do not get a chance to turn things around and do things differently. We do not get the chance to re-live our life, to re-take every opportunity we failed seize and use it as a stepping-stone to achieve our goals. At least not in this life.

It is 3:46am; it has been roughly four hours since I picked up my laptop to watch movies and series. I enjoy watching the drama unravel in VH1’s Love & Hip-Hop and I even have a favourite Salvatore brother in the Vampire Diaries. A couple of days back I’d be up at the same time heading back home from a party. I have assignments to complete and exams to prepare for if I am to graduate with the First Class Honours goal I have set for myself. I will obviously get this work done eventually, but why am I pushing what I can do right now to tomorrow? I will definitely not fail my exam as I will read for it in due time, but why start next week and get a 61% when I can start now and get a 90%?

So I decide to close all tabs and get some reading done. For once, this did not happen as a result of a guilty conscience or a feeling of misplaced priorities. But instead, a newfound, in its own twisted way, motivation. By watching all these movies, some amazing and others not so great, all I am literally doing is spending MY time watching the ACTORS succeed in what they are doing. Every time I go out, I am spending MY time helping the CLUB OWNER/DJ succeed at what he/she is doing. As all this happens, time is moving, I am helping others get somewhere with their lives, while mine remains at a stand still. The excitement I get from all the movies and the parties are temporary. There’s always going to be another movie to watch tomorrow, another party to go to, but I will never have another today. If I were to die today, I’d have watched Denzel Washington become one of the best actors of his time, while I could have been making a difference in my own life.

The balance between the NEED and WANT determine the kind of life you live. I do not want to get caught up in the temptations of today that will leave my tomorrow blurry. Easier said than done of course, but this is my challenge to myself. To try my very best to put the need before the want by doing the hard work first before seeking temporary pleasure. After all, “The most rewarding things you do in life are often the ones that look like they cannot be done” Arnold Palmer.

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ESTABLISHING IDENTITY...

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“I AM NOT A BIRD; AND NO NET ENSNARES ME: I AM A FREE HUMAN BEING WITH AN INDEPENDENT WILL.” 

CHARLOTTE BRONTE (JANE EYRE)

Identity in the contemporary society is generally defined in relation to two aspects. The first is by the characteristics or behaviours of an individual which make him/her a member of a certain group in society and the second being certain uniqueness in an individual’s character that only they can be identified by, commonly referred to as personality .

It has been said that “there are two great days in a person’s life – the day we are born and the day we discover why”. Well, one is surely not arguable as we are all aware of it (at least most of us are lucky enough to be) i.e. the day we are born. But the other remains unknown to most of us. You might question what identity has to do with this. The answer is a lot. Without knowing where you’re from, the values you stand for and the person you are, discovering the path you want to follow in life, the person you intend to be and where you’re headed can be an impossible task. 

There is no hard and fast rule used to apprehend ones identity. Therefore an individual’s identity can be derived from their cultural heritage, country of origin, race, gender, religion, and wealth among many more... However, this is societies chosen way of drawing the line between black and white, rich and poor, wrong and right, what isn’t as opposed to what it is, who is and who isn’t...

Being black or white, Male or female, Muslim or Atheist, Jew or Christian, African or Asian does not define the person you are. All these are but anchors where you can base your beliefs. This is not to discredit the roles played by ones backgrounds or origins or to give them the least of importance. On the contrary, if anything, all these play a major role in shaping an individual into the person they later become but in the long run, we all choose what to believe in and distinguish what's wrong from what is right from all we have grown up learning. 

Whether to live in the shadows of the various stereotypes drawn by society or to rise above them and be individuals who reconcile between all their backgrounds, be it religion or race wise, and use all the teachings to shape our personal beliefs and develop exceptional characters is all up to us. We all choose who we want to be and through this, we discover in due time, the reason of our being. So whether you live in the shadows of others or create your own persona is up to you because in the end, the path you will have chosen and the values you will stand for will make you the person you are and that right there will be your identity. 

Chuck Palahniuk in The Invisible Monster said “Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everyone I’ve ever known”. But this raises an interesting question, isn’t it in the act of being able to combine the ideas and thoughts of others that best appeal to ones character that we create a unique identity of our own and therefore in a sense making us original? After all, no man is an island. All our thoughts and actions do develop as a result of concurring or opposing a certain idea in society. They say that originality, is non-existent and that there is only authenticity. But I believe that when you put everything that appeals to you together, you achieve originality  in some sense, because no one else can do you, better than you.

One can only define their true identity by first grasping and then executing the concepts of free will and independent thinking and only then can one claim to have a real self-defined identity. 

“We can spend our lives letting the world tell us who we are. Sane or insane. Saints or sex-addicts. Heroes or victims. Letting history tell us how good or bad we are. Letting our past decide our future. Or we can decide for ourselves. And maybe it’s our job to invent something better.” Chuck Palahniuk (Choke)

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