Love As A CHOICE

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"Love is a choice you make from moment to moment"

~ Barbara De Angelis

Before you read i'd like to let you know that my arguments here will not be raised based on any school of thought(I have not done any research with relation to love to actually learn the different theories of love). This post is merely based on opinion and practical thinking, which is of course relative as everyone has their own perspectives so do feel absolutely free to share yours, if different.

The generally accepted rule is that love is a feeling we have no control over. Classical accounts also have it that love is not a choice we make, but is instead, something we fall into and have no control over. I'd like to challenge that.

The widely accepted notion of love as a feeling we lack control over is the reason we have women who stay in abusive relationships and young girls making compromises early in life because they are "in love" and would therefore do anything/accept everything as they just "can't help it". 

Love As A CHOICE

Remember the last time you met that young man/lady(respectively) and thought "damn, who's your mother?" only to realise his/her mother was that Aunt you had not met? Now remember how all those feelings you had building up retraced themselves back very quick, never to re-emerge again and after a few awkward moments you were bro's? Last time I checked there was no element of the human body that instantly shuts love out because of blood relations. *Obviously different where relatives can marry*

Wouldn't you then say it was a conscious decision you made not to have any romantic feelings towards him/her because you ended up being relatives? That can only mean we choose who to love because it is ok and vice versa no?

Some women in India, for example, forced into arranged marriages, say they learnt to love the people they were with in time and given the choice, would have it no other way. Then there's those who would be out the door given the choice. The difference between the two would be personal choice wouldn't it? Or that love is something that can be "learnt", and if it is learnt, it can be unlearnt too? Just like a bad habit(not that i'm saying it is one)

To be clear, I do not support arranged courtships, however, this beats the belief that one is "meant to be" with someone and so they should make compromises. If someone who was forced into a relationship can in time fall in love with their spouse, then you who has the choice to be with whomever you please can definitely be with the person who treats you right and stop compromising everything simply because you "lack control over your feelings."

Love as an uncontrollable feeling has built a feeble society, dictating that it is an innate feeling we have no choice but to accept. It is always easier to accept we have no control over hard decisions, but choice comes with a sense of freedom. Once we accept love as a choice, we'll then be able to make wiser choices and not be trapped in circumstances simply because it has long been believed and deemed uncontrollable.

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