When Life Gives You Lemons, Paint That Sh*t Gold

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"Stop waiting for the money, keep doing your dream and what makes you happy and the money should only be the bonus of your goal, not the goal itself" 

~ Peter Moll 

I was skyping with my sister yesterday when my mom came in and asked me to skype her on her account when I was done with my sister so we could talk. I finished skyping my sister and called my mum and within those few moments, she had received a phone call that changed her jovial mood. 

“Sanna a very bad thing just happened. Uncle Kuol has been killed in South Sudan. They ambushed the car and along with other colleagues, he was killed. We’ll talk later ok?”, she said. 

At this point her webcam was not on but from her breaking voice I could feel her pain and literally hear her wipe away her tears as she told me this crying… I didn’t know what to say. This was my uncle too but my pain was not even half as much the pain she was feeling (still is), from losing a brother. So before she hang up, trying to hold back my own tears, in a low voice I uttered the words “I’m sorry. Love you”. I knew this wouldn’t change anything or help the situation but I had to say something, anything. 

My sister called me back shortly after; “Has mom told you what happened?” she asked me crying. And I told her she had and she went on “Oh my God, I don’t know what to do. Mum is just crying so much and I really don’t know what to do” and she started crying some more. 

I also didn’t know what to do. How do I tell my sister to do that which even I didn’t know how? I wished I were home. I was cursing the distance between us and the fact that I couldn’t be there to help my mom through this time. Then I stopped to ask myself, what more could I have done if I was there? It’s not like I had a magic wand to wipe away all the tears, or make the pain all go away. It is at this point that I realized all we need to do for those who have lost someone dear is just be there for them because they need to be allowed to grieve. 

“Just be there for her. Be strong and don’t cry, be her comfort”, I told my sister. 

Now my sister is one strong person. I am not even half as strong as this girl so I knew she could do it. As for my mom, I know she’ll be okay. She’s the strongest person I know (one day I will tell you guys her story. Nothing like you’ve ever heard). I mean who else do you know that can cook a whole goat all by herself? Lol 

Yeah, I’m actually serious. Back in the day when the Naivasha peace talks for Sudan were ongoing, we’d have visitors come home everyday, and everyday a goat would be slaughtered. I was too young to help (apart from frying the onions) and my dad had to keep the visitors company (though once in a while he’d come in to help cut the meat. haha). So yeah, my mom would be in the kitchen all alone cooking since we didn’t have a house help at that particular time because they all ended up not working out (my mom’s a perfectionist. Some didn’t clean parts of the house, which annoyed her and even after she asked they still didn’t and others would take a couple of things from the house here and there so she preferred to do everything on her own). At the end of the day, all the meat would be served in all kind of dishes on the table right on time. When I say all, I mean ALL! Apart from the parts of the goat like the legs and head which would later make for great soup the next day. Talk of super woman. 

Okay I’m sorry, I drifted away there, but my point is, my mum is ONE HEAVEN OF A WOMAN so I know this too shall pass. Now on to the point of this blog post… 

I was talking to my friend Sam the other day about how men bravely put themselves in harms way just to stand by what they believe in, and he told me this, “when you have a cause, you don’t fear”. Dr. John Garang had a vision for Sudan, and it didn’t matter if it meant living on the edge, he fought for what he believed in, and to this day he is remembered for just that; the man who stood strong and never compromised his principles. My Uncle Kuol Adol, was a Paramount chief of Abyei. Yesterday he died coming from a meeting where it was the Abyei question that was being discussed. He died for a cause, not in vain. Generations to come will remember him for his struggles for the people of South Sudan. They will remember him too, as the man who stood strong and never compromised his principles. 

The difference between men like my uncle Kuol Adol and those like Omar El Bashir, is that men like my uncle, are remembered through out history as men driven by their passion to work for the people. They fight for a free world and fight with integrity. Men like Hitler, are remembered as men who were driven by their passion for power. Morally corrupt men who care nothing about humanity but for power. Omar El Bashir and his forces may have succeeded in taking my Uncles life, but in our hearts, he lives on as the great man he was. Today we curse his death but celebrate the life he lived. Tomorrow, we’ll celebrate Bashir’s death and curse the life he lived. And that ladies and gentlemen, is the difference between great men, and despicable ones. 

My father told me one thing the other day, “Don’t be in a rush for material wealth.” And that “Integrity is the highest of values and principles. You should never be corrupt. Corruption doesn't mean just financially but morally too.” 

These words, held a lot of meaning for me at the time, but today, they hold even deeper meaning. Through my Uncles death, I have learnt that living for a cause is much meaningful than power. Power corrupts, the more that is your goal, the more integrity you lose. I have decided not to be mad and bitter because of this, but paint those lemons handed to me by life, gold. My uncle's death is something I can't change... But how I deal with it and what I learn from it, is something I have total control of. My lesson from all this, is, as my father put it, to never be in a rush for material wealth. Because, that will come in it’s time, but it shall never be my goal. 

My goal in this life shall be to serve people, speak out for the feeble, march for the weak, be the voice for the voiceless and shun immorality. In the words of Charlie Chaplin, “I’m sorry but I don’t want to be an emperor. That’s not my business. I don’t want to rule or conquer anyone. I should like to help everyone if possible; Jew, Gentile, black men, white…” because “… in this world there is room for everyone. And the good earth is rich and can provide for everyone” and I know “… the way of life can be free and beautiful”. So I never want to lose that way but instead, bring others to that realisation too. 

Thank you Uncle Kuol Adol firstly, on behalf of Sudan for dedicating your life to liberating your people, and secondly, but definitely not least, for a lesson well taught through the life you lived and may you rest in eternal peace. With much love. xx

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